So it was nine years yesterday that Mummy left us.
I woke up with that same feeling of sadness that I do every year...
Regret that she hasn't been with us to share all the wonderful things we've done since she's been gone....
Cheated because she went too soon and I know she'd have made the most amazing 'Nana' to our children....and none of us were ready to have lost you...
Frustration that I can't pick up the phone and ask her advice on mothering or growing older or just generally having a chat and hearing her fabulous words of wisdom and crazily loud and super infectious laugh ....
The nagging worry that I always have in the back of my mind of... what would happen if I was to get ill as well? I couldn't bear the thought of leaving my own girls... I hope I am always able to remember to keep up the annual health checks....
And just so any other mixed emotions that are just too much to write....
Each morning, Andrew and I leave two sleeping babes at 6.15am to get to work - my ritual is to cuddle and kiss their sleeping cheeks all warm in their beds and tell them goodbye, making sure I say I'll see them when I get home from school.... and then I spend some mornings driving to work trying my hardest to push way thoughts of 'what ifs'...'what if I was wiped out by a crazy Saudi driver this morning....STOP IT!!!!
So. It was our 9th Red Day.
We had big fat red juicy strawberries for breakfast whilst we watched Disney channel on the TV. Yum.
Then, dressed in lots of shades of red, we met Andrew after he'd been to work for a special lunch at a gorgeous French cafe. (He was wearing a red tie, but he took it off just before the piccies!) The girls had to be incredibly patient and eat all their lunch before they were allowed to choose a special cake for dessert.
Then we went home, and I got stuck into some red wine.
I have to say I felt rather ordinary at school today....
Cheers, Mummy. I know you are up there keeping us safe.
Look after us all. And an extra special lookout for Poppy Poo at the moment.
Sweet dreams Mama Bear.
xxxx
xxxx
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